Random prose as I sit here looking across the Bay! Clouds and some fog and light rain… Waves gently moving toward the right… As January comes to a close…
It’s winter and it’s not cold yet but soon will be. I’m shedding and weeping and it’s at times, overwhelming. Nothing new to Him as He prepared these warm days in advance. He absolutely knew I would not be able to stay inside with all of these emotions. At least twice a week He has given me an escape. No people overload and no ministry assignments. But He also knows I’d be willing and available if “the circumstance” calls for it. He knows my limitations and HE is my source of strength. He knows the voice inside of me will say with all humility, “I don’t want to, but I’ll do it for You.”
He’s so very patient with me. I need winter. And I embrace all that comes with it, even the difficulties. I need shedding. We all do. Without it we will continually carry stuff we shouldn’t and were never meant to. Without winter we would live a “I’m okay in public” but a “Not really in private.” And who, who wants to live like that?
I’d prefer the pain and the tears. The realization and the unpacking it all. The knowing I don’t have to and HE so wants to. I prefer the shedding of my soul and the preparations for Spring. As He wills it. I prefer the being made new and embracing every beautiful thing planned for me before the foundation of the world.
So winter…have it your way. I’m armed with my Sword of the Spirit, my Kleenex, my journal, my Romans 8:26 and the saints that will walk with me when the burden tries to overtake me. I’m HIS and all of my days are before Him. He promised and so quietly and lovingly reminded me last night in Psalm 139… One verse at a time, He whispered, I AM … I see you. I know you. I created you and I Am right here with you.
Love, Abba❤️
