By His grace and His grace only, I have such contentment. When I am still and reflect, soon approaching 58, I am beyond grateful. I was abandoned in my youth and had not idea what the future held for me. I was always in survival mode.
Fast forward, I was the woman at the well in John chapter 4, having more sexual encounters than I should have. By His grace, I have three beautiful children and two godly grandchildren. By His grace, I experienced “the wedding day” and all that goes with it. I had the picket fence and the faithful German Shepherd. My marriage ended in divorce and my beautiful, four-legged best friend passed away from cancer at the age of 10.
I had a long rewarding and stressful twenty-five years with law-enforcement. But again, by His grace, He allowed me to retire without injury. I’ve had several cars, a motorcycle, two homes and the ability to travel.
I am not at all wealthy, but He, without fail continually provides for me. I would like to have went to Paris, Ireland and Israel, but it is not a longing. Nor was it a missed opportunity. I would love to have purchased a piece of property on the water, just enough space for me and my prayer room. But again, it is not a longing nor is it a regret. Just reflecting.
I would’ve love to have taken a culinary class to learn how to cook beautiful and healthy and delicious meals for myself. I absolutely loved the creative writing class that I took in 2003. I would loved to have published more books, but I got distracted, then lazy and also more excited about sharing the gospel.
He so answered many prayers concerning my retirement and the next season of life. He allowed me to leave the police department just as I had prayed, word for word was my exit. I could not believe it, but that’s my God.
Then I prayed to be able to work in the county in which I lived. He gave me two jobs in the county that I truly enjoyed. And I know that people were blessed by me as I was so blessed by them. He also allowed me to be a Christian counselor without a degree. I was able to encourage and mentor. To give wisdom and insight to those who needed it most. I wasn’t supposed to point them to #Jesus, but it’s all I know how to do now. He’s so used my past to help their present.
Now I get a pour godly wisdom, as well disciple teenage girls on Wednesday nights. I get to intercede for the nations and I get to share the reason for my hope in the marketplace. I still cannot believe that this is my life. I still cannot believe that He had mercy on me. I still cannot believe that while I was dead in my sin, He sent His One and Only to die for me. I still cannot believe that the Holy Spirit pursued me and dwells in me.
I still cannot believe I get to live here. I still cannot believe the plethora of friendships and encouragement that I am surrounded by. I still cannot believe the amount of people praying for my family. I still cannot believe that He meets every single need that I have just as He promised in Psalm 23:1.
Because of His unending grace, I need nor desire anything. Every once in a while, maybe just something yummy to eat. Something other than my own cooking… Lol
Yes this is my life. “His grace toward me because of His Son’s blood.” And I still cannot believe it. #ButGod is the God of the absolute impossible.
